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Credits

Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.




In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department






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For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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11.30.2009

In Remembrance of Fall

An icy calm has settled over the land. The leaves have taken that cowardly plunge rather than submit to old man winter’s frigid touch. Diverse flocks of birds and scurrying critters have dispersed, leaving behind a forest of skeletal trees and silence. Where once owls shrieked in the night, only my neighbors’ stereo rouses my slumber.

The colors and sensations may be a faded memory, but this bygone season will live forever, captured in time in a series of snapshots.

Album Cover
If you too yearn for warmer climes, join me in the Elysian Fields.

Labels:


10.30.2009

Plot A Blot!

For the last few days, I’ve been playing around with the canvas element, teaching myself how to draw primitive shapes on the fly. As a result of this gut-wrenchingly worthwhile endeavor, I now have a pretty swell little demo up and running.

Tracer Screenshot
Play Tracer

I’ll admit that it’s not a finished product; features I can’t think of are unimplemented; the resolution is that of an 8-bit gaming console; physically shaking your computer does nothing to remove the image. And, like the buttons and levers at every nuclear plant built since 1957, the controls are painted on.

Still, there are many keyboard commands that allow gameplay to be not only enjoyable, but super-enjoyable.
Arrow keys
Move cursor.
Space
Clear image.
Shift
Toggle cursor blinking.
X
Export current image.
1-9
Change size of cursor (default is 2).

Have at it! Even on the Wii — that’s right, I’ve got it working with the Wii remote’s d-pad. Don’t forget to tell me exactly what you think of it, because I base all my design decisions on misinterpretations of user feedback.

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9.29.2009

Rebellion? Leaf it to the Trees!

Roboshrub Press
ALBANY, NEW YORK

The sun was completely blocked out over the state capital yesterday, after thousands of trees took to the streets.

Protests began almost immediately after the random chemical spill / government experiment gone horribly awry / alien intervention / magic that brought almost 350 acres of pristine forest to life last Thursday. Among the protesters’ demands are an immediate end to logging and a proper burial for all wooden furniture and paper.

Anonymous Pine Tree

"Our saplings shouldn’t live in perpetual fear of becoming end tables."

— Anonymous Pine Tree

“We’ve long been the target of human propaganda, from books like ‘The Giving Tree’ to Monty Python’s infatuation with lumberjacks,” claims their spokes-pine, a charismatic young Douglas Fir. “We only want autonomy. My people deserve a place to put down roots.”

Counter-demonstrations have already sprung up, with angry humans waving blank signs made of plywood and chanting “I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay!”


The Roboshrub Press is a wholly pwned subsidiary of Roboshrub News Incorporated, itself pwned by Roboshrub Inc. This article is printed on recycled human pulp.